Music - The Self Soothing
Music, The Nervous System and Self Soothing
How music interacts with the nervous system and emotions, especially for people who grew up needing to self-soothe alone. It’s one of the clearest examples of how art literally rewires the brain for safety.
Let’s walk through how this works, both emotionally and neurologically.
1. Music and the Nervous System
When you listen to or create music, your autonomic nervous system (which controls stress and calm) responds immediately.
• Rhythm influences your heartbeat and breathing — slow tempos can activate the parasympathetic “rest and digest” state, while fast tempos can release pent-up energy.
• Melody engages the limbic system, the brain’s emotional center, helping to name and release feelings.
In simple terms: music acts like external co-regulation — the same function a calm caregiver provides. If your parents didn’t calm you, the music does.
2. From Isolation to Integration
For many artists, the turning point is when music stops being a refuge from the world and becomes a bridge back to it.
• Sharing songs invites co-regulation with others.
• Collaborating turns solitude into connection.
• Performing allows emotional resonance with audiences — “I play, you feel, and I’m not alone.”
In trauma recovery terms, that’s moving from self-regulation to co-regulation — from surviving alone to healing together.
3. Emotionally: Music as a “Co-Regulating Other”
From a psychological view, music can function like a surrogate attachment figure.
• It mirrors emotional states (“this song feels exactly how I feel”).
• It resonates empathy (“someone else has felt this too”).
• It predictably responds (press play → comfort arrives).
This mirrors what early secure attachment should do: help you feel seen, soothed, safe, and secure.Over time, this musical relationship teaches your nervous system what regulation feels like — even if you never had it modeled by humans.
